So I just did me some talking to the sun

Wow, where should I begin, its been a while or should I say it has been too long. I remembered when i started my blog 3 years ago, I write all the time. TragicFairyTales has been best my friend, my personal journal and once a place where I am free to write all my emotions and the ups and downs of life

Then when it started to attract attention and new readers,I got lost of my true identity, I started to hold back what I wanted to say in fear of offending readers and in fear that people might not like what I write. My friends asked why did I abandoned my blog at its peak when it started to gain massive followers. I started with less than 10 followers in 2009 and suddenly by making a few blog friends from all over the world, the followers shoot up to 200++ within three months then I quit. 

Today I finally have the answer, it's because I got too carried away by trying to make the blog famous.

I guess i cared too much about how many new followers I will gain or how many comments I might receive in a single post that I finally got so sick of it and decided to run away a hide and neglect something which I once love so much which is to write from heart.

But now I am back for good, to be honest  with my thoughts, to stop writing in contradictions and to continue being a genuine and honest writer.  I couldn't be more grateful for all the friends I have made, none has been forgotten and especially those who stayed through out the days when the blog has went on hiatus.

Cheers to Tragic Fairy Tales and all its awesome readers ♥

Joanna Wang - Raindrops Keep Fallin on my Head

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Plastic Bag is NOT Cool

Modern technology Owes ecology An apology

I guess everyone has heard about Global warming, but how many of us have actually helped save our dying Earth? Me myself has been ignorant because as selfish as I am, I used to say there are billions of people in the world, it makes no difference if I am trying to make a change alone. But IF one person would say this in a day, imagine how many billions of people who are just like me, are not contributing anything to make the world a better place to live.

What I can do for my Earth is not much, but IF everyone is doing it then it would be a lot. I have stopped using plastic bags. I carry shopping bags in my handbag whenever I go.

Don't blow it - good planets are hard to find. 

Do you know Every year, more than 500 billion plastic bags are distributed, and less than 3% of those bags are recycled. They are typically made of polyethylene and can take up to 1,000 years to biodegrade in landfills that emit harmful greenhouse gases. Reducing your contribution to plastic-bag pollution is as simple as using a cloth bag (or one made of biodegradable plant-based materials) instead of wasting plastic ones - Source from Just Say no to Plastic Bags

♫ Of the Moment : Metric - Waves

In Hope of Escapism

Sometimes I secretly wish that my life has more colors, so I can have more interesting stuff to write about. I wish I could have more adventure, or write about wonderful places I have been and great cities I have seen, but to be honest I am just an ordinary girl with dreams bigger than the sky. A dream to break away from the routine life, a dream to leave this city where it's forever summer. A dream to wish that I will always have a dream.

But just because I don't get to see the world yet, it does not mean that I will sit and sulk and whine. What I can do now is to find magic in the humblest places, I hope to make the best out of the littlest things in life. In this post, I will share some of the photos of my splendid time spent with my sisters during my last trip back home to my hometown. The Little Island, Penang in Malaysia. I have always loved the smell of the sea, in fact someday hopefully I will be rich enough to have a house with the view of an ocean. :)

A girl can always dream , can't she?

All photos are taken at this new chill out place, Straits Quay in Penang.

It's one of the best place to hang out, a lot of nice fancy restaurants around

And the best part is the view of the ocean, which is breathtaking 

PS: Sorry to those who are new here, if you were to stick with me long enough you would know that I have been away from my Blog. Sincere apology if I have missed out on replying any comments. I will try my best to write back to everyone as soon as possible.

And not forgetting to share my fav song from Twin Sister , i am just so addicted to it.



" If you forget it all , I will Bring it with me..
If You Can't Find the sea, i will bring you there "

The Best Friend , Coffee , Games & Me

You know when they say communication brings people closer together, I don't think it's happening nowadays. The problem with the world today. IF You Ever Noticed, or have you ever notice a group of friends or family sitting on a table together without actual interactions, everyone is just too busy playing with their gadgets. With the advanced technology in communication devices, everyone is just too into their Blackberries and iPhones or smart phones. Sad right, how people no longer have a decent meal together with laughter and good conversations.

Back to my post, me and my bestest friend in the whole wide world (that's how much I adore and love her) hang out at this nice cozy little café in a local Mall in Penang. Although the coffee they serve is just average for my liking, I love how they have all this board games and books. We had the best time catching up with each other's busy lives, playing Scrabble & Jenga. It's just so much fun and love. So here I will share some photos with you.

Board games are fun, people should play it more often. The first board game I have ever owned was a set of Monopoly my dad bought me when I was  8 when he came back to visit me and my sisters..

 What’s your all time fav board game ?

Cutest Song ever , good Indonesian music :)

My heart stopped beating And when it stops it stops

I find it kinda funny how I could write better when I am angry or upset. But I find it even funnier that I don’t feel a thing but I have so much in mind right now, I just feel like writing today. So here I am

Looking back at my old posts before I hit the delete button. I don’t know if I should laugh at my old self , the little angry teen who writes endless emo posts , the love fool who writes with too much emotion or the hypocrite who try too hard to please everyone. I wear different masks around different people every day. I could not explain how my heart and head were at war, so many contradictions in what I say and what I do.

As much as I wish to be the girl with the golden heart, as much as I wish I could be as kind as I once were years ago. I have changed, people changed for better or worse. We all know in life, we will be hurt,, back stabbed by people who meant the world to us. If it's a broken arm, leg or bone, its going to hurt but it will heal. People who are broken inside sometimes are the happiest people on the outside, we cover our pain with smiles and laughter. How to recover from all the hurting? I guess I have no idea. Even the heart of gold can turn as cold as stone if it has been wounded in way too many times. I know some people will say yeah big deal, why can't she grow up and stop being so pathetic. Well tell me about it when you know how it feels like to be crying at night wishing you can sleep so your mind will stop working, and when you wake up in the morning you wish you could crawl back into bed again. I went through that for the past months.

I've been living my life half asleep.

And again, this is my personal blog, I may rant all I want.

I like building walls around my world. I feel safer this way. I tear it down once or twice and realize it was the biggest mistake so I built it higher and higher. People who care enough will find a way to knock it down, people who don't will just give up after a few tries. And, in the end if I keep on allowing myself to be defeated by my own insecurity and lack of trust in people, I know might end up hurting people who actually care and I might end up pushing them away.

"You said I began
This messy state of love affair
And I drink too much and smoke too fast
And this city's cleared my innocence
And I laugh out loud
My life is a mess
I have gone too far
In my lifelessness "

Can money pay for all the days I lived awake

 I remember when I was a kid , Birthday used to be so much fun , although I don't grow up like those rich kids you watched on MTV Sweet Sixteen with major bash , fancy car at present , and the whole school attends the biggest party in town.

As I grow up , birthday is just another day. It does not thrill me much anymore. Past years I would be more than happy if its just dinner or a day out with family and friends. But somehow this year , I thought of spending it with my close ones. I have been feeling empty lately and I find life so tiring. You wake up and its like a routine life. Friends are living in different cities. I hate the feeling of being alone.. I just need companionship , because it's so tough for me that he is so far , so the only people I could think of to spend my day with are my best friends.

2 weeks ago, excitingly I started planning a party for myself, searching for a nice place to hang out, and I thought of inviting a few of the closest friends to go out at night, grab a few drinks and have fun instead of being miserable. My sisters could not be here because they have college. It's like 1 more day to my Birthday, and most of my friends could not make it either. I even bought three dresses that thought I would wear this year. Maybe it's not such a big deal or I am being way too emotional, but somehow it's pretty disappointing, I did not want to lie, I cried last night because I felt like there is no one I could rely on. How pathetic it is to have to plan your own party with a list of invited ' close friends' who doesn't care much

People who are not close to me thinks that my birthday this year is going to be the 'It' event. Everyone is asking how am I going to celebrate my birthday this year, I am so ashamed to tell them that I am not going to do anything this year. With social network like Facebook, everyone will just bloody wish you by writing on your wall. I got so pissed I locked my Facebook wall today because I know by tomorrow the Birthday reminder will be on. And, those pretentious people will just write something stupid which they don't mean it.

If someone would ask me what I want this year, I would simply answer All I want is to feel happy again.

Ps - Sorry love, my comeback post is supposed to be something more interesting and not my melancholy whining..

♫ Of the Moment : Primitives Radio God - Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth with money in my hand.

And the city I walk in, I feel like a shadow

I wish I could gain back my passion when I started my blog...
I know I have been playing hide and seek with my readers
One minute I am here, gone in the next.

I lost so many followers, sometimes I wonder do people follow your blog because they like your style of writing or they follow just to get you to follow them back. And, when you don't they unfollow you :)

So I won't take it personally when people left, I will use it as motivation to write better.

But as I always say, I am still very grateful for all the friends I've made through my blog

I try my best to keep in touch with everyone on Twitter or Facebook.

Bought all this from DIVA

One of the best thing to happen is to receive a blog award even when I have been away

That's the best feeling ever, to be remembered and I truly felt appreciated

Hugs and kisses to Laura from Artfully Artista

Thank u so much for the award , u motivates me to make a come back ♥

Warpaint- Shadows

L'heure avait sonné - The Time has Come

April has been kind I guess, time does heal wounds, and with the love and support from my friends I have started to find peace in the heart and in mind.

I remember days when I don't feel like getting out of bed, I whined about every single thing, I cry over the littlest things. Then something struck me, I feel pathetic, vulnerable and I have become this annoying little freak who complains about the same old drama over and over again. Then I stop, I start going out more often with my girlfriends, partying, shopping, laughing about silly stuff, flirt a little and I felt good again. These are the things I have should do a long time ago.

A Big shout out to all friends who will be celebrating Easter Day, I wish you love

Through timeless words and Priceless Pictures

''If you do not breathe through writing , if you do not cry out in writing , or sing in writing, then don't write , because our culture has no use for it '' - Anaiss Nin

What inspires you to write?

Love? Life? Anger? Hatred?

I write when I felt the world could not understand me. I write because I believe through words I calm the whirlwind in my head. Through words I cry out the tears that people around don't see. Through words I sing songs when my voice could not be heard. Through words I find escapism in reality, through the words we find magic together.

I am not a great writer, I don't write for money, I don't write for your pleasure. I am an amateur photographer and an indie queen.

I am Jasmine..Thanks to all the readers who choose to stay and hello to all the new friends I've made.

 

Happy Birthday Veronica

I don't really feel like writing , I guess my readers will know the reason why.
So i'll just share some photos of my good friend Veronica's Birthday dinner :)

And may everyone have a wonderful month , its 1st of March ...

♫ Of the Moment : Dan Mangan - The Indie Queens Are Waiting

Your brown eyes are my blue skies.

''I Carry your heart with me ( I carry it in my heart ) i am never without it , anywhere i go you go'' - E.E Cummings

I did not mention in my last post , he went to Canada to further his studies Last Monday , 

7th February 2011 .. Love once again has tear us apart..

Was on Skype with him the other day , God knows how much I miss him . The weather in Toronto is really cold , he is trying to adapt to the changes and learning about his new place. School is going to start soon , I was so worried , before he left I was having a bad cold and seems like he got it from me. As we chatted I was crying , and somehow ironically he knew . He asked me am I crying, I said NO..he knew I was lying. I did not want him to worry because I want him to move on , he has a new life there, new faces to meet , and most probably he will meet someone new soon. Inside me I am dying , it was hard enough to be so far away from him, I could not touch him or hug him. He told him it was hard for him too but he won't show it to me because he knows I will cry. He knows I have not been sleeping for the past few days, why am I being so childish.

It's hard to act tough, I am falling apart. Days goes on, life seems the same. Every morning when I wake up I look at the sky, and wonders what is he doing ,the time difference is really crazy. Under the same sky, but miles and miles apart. I told him not to worry about me, because he is in my heart , so he is always near to me. He asked me if I like snow, he showed me the view from his condo.

 Well if things were meant to be, I might give up everything in Malaysia to be with him. 

Its too early to decide now ...if he found someone better I will let him go with an open heart.

''Can you help me?
Can you let me go
And can you still love me
When you can't see me anymore''


♫ Of the Moment : KT Tunstall - Other Side of the World

Forget me Not

Hello loves, 

It felt so weird to be writing again as I have abandoned my blog for the past months , Lost a few followers when I am away. At the same time gained some new ones, I wonder if I am forgetting too by so many of my dear friends and writers. What inspires me to write again is emails, and all the comments received.  Well thank you, your words make me want to write again.

Well I am back for good, I have been covered in shells for far too long, life has been high and low. WHAT HAVE I MISSED? EVERYTHING! 

So I'll keep this a really short one , as I can't wait to read everyone's updates and check out my new readers , reply comments and say Hi to everyone again ! GOSH  its a little too late but Happy New Year girls. Please Please Please drop by and say HI , can't wait to hear from everyone ♥

Miss you guys ! Hugs and Kisses !!

♪ But when you give me love
When you give me love

I have no fear of heights

No fear of the deep blue sea,
Although it could drown me

I know it could drown me

♫ Of the Moment :Katie Melua - No Fear of Heights