Who is the girl with the crying face looking at millions of signs?i am sad but i am laughing
The girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes. Married to her Camera and having a rendezvous with Arts & Music.
Who is the girl with the crying face looking at millions of signs?
Spending my Sunday night drafting this is not my idea of fun. Its been a dizzy merry Go Round ride , spinning spinning spinning till I can barely feel my feet on the ground but I think this is the end. ‘’Learning to love somebody don’t make them love you ‘’ ..Jack Johnson-Sitting Waiting Wishing
Kinda says it all huh , I like how certain songs sings out the unsaid words that i kept inside.Which is why im always posting up songs that makes me think of him in pubic space. Obviously .Indirectly im trying to say out loud , Hey fucker NOTICE ME , can u please just fucking pay attention for once..But it’s kinda ironic that people who cares are those who don’t matter, and he who matters never really care. That really upsets me, but well, me cant blame others for my own foolishness.
Like last Saturday ,i spent my afternoon for Gino’s photo shoot and when I got home , im so freaking tired I nearly doze off in the evening, but I stay awake just in case he call , but of course it did not happen . That is totally stupid I know.
Its easy to lose your mind when you lose your heart via I wrote this for you.
Perhaps its just an obsession , perhaps he’s just in my long long list of Things I want that I cant get . Deal with it and move on already bitch .
A good friend said
‘’ You don’t need a person who is never here for you when you’re down , when you had a rough day at work , when u need someone to talk to . You don’t need a person who never cares about you , your new job, your insecurities , your worries , he don’t care about anything. You’re just a nobody . ‘’
So whats the point of worrying if Im never good enough or how to change myself for him to like me or what can I do to make him notice me , or worse to worry if he already liked someone else.
Ignorance is Bliss
♫ of the moment: Sitting , Waiting , Wishing -Jack Johnson

Going home after work makes me wants to hang myself. I think I really need my own space, I need to breathe, i'm suffocating , I don’t want to go home , I don’t have a home.People will never get it , they think im over reacting , self loathe and pathetic.
How can life be so fucked up , I can never be content , I never like what I do , I hate to work , i really really want to go get away from this shit hole. I wish I had my pair of wings now. One day I’ll just pack my bags and leave, I m just so tired of living in lies.People say why don’t you just go to college, I wish I could, why don’t you tell that to my family who never really gives a shit. Everyone think its so easy, everyone talks about money, no one talks about what I want.
Get a loan? Saying really is so easy huh, since 16, I knew that the only way to get things that I want is to earn my own money, I work part time everyday after school so I can buy clothes that I want .I can never rely on anyone. And which leads to my addictive bad habit is which to steal stuff that I can't afford. Im lucky enough to get rid of that.I am lucky enough to turn out alright.
And to make it on my own and pay for my college fees is pretty impossible, how to fork out 40k for it? Where the fuck can i get all that money?
Can I just call my useless dad and demand him to pay back the life he owes me?
OR Maybe I should not dream high , I should just continue working a job I never liketo get money to live my pathetic life , pretend to be happy so people wont label me as ungrateful then get marry and die boring and full of regrets. And should I thank your God for his blessing for my ‘wonderful life’? Yea maybe I should pretend to so I won’t be damned in hell when I die.
I swear I’ll be with anyone who can buy me a new life and get me out of here . Anyone who can buy me a life I never had during my childhood. I don’t fucking care about love I want money !
Money is everything yes it is, screw love, screw family ties , screw everything Screw your God.
Im not writing this because im angry, I don’t pity myself . Its not my problem I am this way .
♫ of the moment: Florence and the Machine- Blinding
