Thursday, 30 June 2011

Can money pay for all the days I lived awake

 I remember when I was a kid , Birthday used to be so much fun , although I don't grow up like those rich kids you watched on MTV Sweet Sixteen with major bash , fancy car at present , and the whole school attends the biggest party in town.

As I grow up , birthday is just another day. It does not thrill me much anymore. Past years I would be more than happy if its just dinner or a day out with family and friends. But somehow this year , I thought of spending it with my close ones. I have been feeling empty lately and I find life so tiring. You wake up and its like a routine life. Friends are living in different cities. I hate the feeling of being alone.. I just need companionship , because it's so tough for me that he is so far , so the only people I could think of to spend my day with are my best friends.

2 weeks
 ago, excitingly I started planning a party for myself, searching for a nice place to hang out, and I thought of inviting a few of the closest friends to go out at night, grab a few drinks and have fun instead of being miserable. My sisters could not be here because they have college. It's like 1 more day to my Birthday, and most of my friends could not make it either. I even bought three dresses that thought I would wear this year. Maybe it's not such a big deal or I am being way too emotional, but somehow it's pretty disappointing, I did not want to lie, I cried last night because I felt like there is no one I could rely on. How pathetic it is to have to plan your own party with a list of invited ' close friends' who doesn't care much

People who are not close to me thinks that my birthday this year is going to be the 'It' event. Everyone is asking how am I going to celebrate my birthday this year, I am so ashamed to tell them that I am not going to do anything this year. With social network like Facebook, everyone will just bloody wish you by writing on your wall. I got so pissed I locked my Facebook wall today because I know by tomorrow the Birthday reminder will be on. And, those pretentious people will just write something stupid which they don't mean it.

If someone would ask me what I want this year, I would simply answer All I want is to feel happy again.

Ps - Sorry love, my comeback post is supposed to be something more interesting and not my melancholy whining..

Of the Moment : Primitives Radio God - Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth with money in my hand.