DEAD BRAINS

Its MAY ! Gosh..June is coming..then July..I'm turning 23 soon..SO soon is scares the shit out of me..

I'm still the same old me ..the one who complains and whines all day and all night long..I'm thinking of enrolling in college soon..Where? When ? I cant decide yet But i cant wait to Rock Campus'.Mum and friends said i should just do night classes since i had a steady job right now..But they dont seem to understand what i want..I wana experience campus life..Although i dont deny that im a little paranoid about my age..I dont even know wether i can get along with all those fresh high skool grads..5 Years is a hugggeee Gap..I dont wana be call the old bitch..

What course i wana do? Mass communication of course..I'm thinking of picking PR as my major..If i really did make it to college..i'm gona be Flat broke..Thats the thing that i worry most..No more shopping ? I rather DIE !!

I regretted wasting off so many years..Sometimes i wonder why cant i have a normal family..Where my parents will at least care more of my future..Where they at least made plans for ME ! Yea so what if i like to push the blame to everyone ..People think im so lucky to have all this freedom..I can do whatever i want..go whenever i like and come home anytime i wish to...LUCKY?? Yea lucky if u wish to end up a loser

'Think practically' they said..Why give up your job now? Just stay in the company, continue working and one day u will be somebody.

How can i be somebody with no Freaking certs, Qualifications and skills? I wont be young forever..Who the fuck wana hire me when im old and ugly?

.FUCK IT..! DONT BE STUPID PLEASE..i dont even enjoy what i do..ITS NOT WHAT I WANT ..If u cant give me what i want and you're not helping then please shut the fuck up..I wana go far not stuck in a stupid position where people get to push you around,Solving everyone's shit everyday and gets the blame for EVERYTHING

The more i think about it..The more i'm PISSED !

I HATE MY LIFE !

I'm sick of depending on myself to get everything that i want in life

I thank my fucking loser dad for all this..Don't have children if you only have balls to abandon them..

Now do u still want to know I'm so fucked up all the time?

My good friend Seng Han send me this video today..Well i was so impressed..Although i know its just an AD for Shampoo..It bring tears to my ears..The mini storyline touched me and partly also because I've always like Canon In D which is the main song in the video..It somehow reminds me of someone..And it got me thinking..yeah why should i be like Others..when i can be me..

Have a Happy Meal Emo kid

Have been so so uninspired lately..I had so much to write but so little time to do so..Watched an episode of the old sitcom F.R.I.E.N.D.S lately..then a part of the Theme song is like stuck in my head right now

Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A ( dead on arrival)
It's like you're always stuck in second gear

As usual Shit happens..Within this two days..I understand the pain of betrayal..I see people did horrible things and they did whatever they can even by hurting people around them to get what they want..Some did not realize the shit they're gonna put others into..Or maybe they realized but they prefer to put themselves first. I learned that friendship can be so fragile.For the 999th times..i'm gonna say I hate office politics and i hate conflict and misunderstanding..Its giving me such a rough time and to be honest i wish the ground just break into two and suck me into it..!

I wish i can let everyone know that I'm not a programmed robot which laughs 24 hours..I had my bad days too and when i don't feel like laughing at lame jokes..i can have the option to show my fart face..Because seriously You're jokes aren't that funny ! So am i suppose to pretend it was? ..If thats really the case, who don't i just paint my Joker Face and smile at everyone's Bullshit ?

I wish i had a money tree right now, then i can bloody throw in my resignation letter and walk away in style ! Im so sick ..Soooo sick of everything , all the crap i need to do , the bullshit people are selling everyday and the fake people which i hate to entertain...But i need money in my pocket and cash in my bank...So i need to continue living in this hell....

I wish i can go drinking with Mary tonight but i'm just not in the mood..I bet she's really pissed by now because i'm not returning calls..and not replying her texts..But i guess she wont know that i just had a super fucked day at work..

I think im gonna have Migraine real soon..I dont feel like going home but i dont know where else can i go..I feel like crying on a shoulder but i dont know who i can turn into..I'm so fucking tired...GOD !

At this point i dont need anyone to understand me or read whats on my mind ..Dont blame me for not telling ...cause even if i do so..no one will ever understand..

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE me.................

Moon River

Moon River, wider than a mile,
I'm crossing you in style some day.
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker,
wherever you're going I'm going your way.
Two drifters off to see the world.
There's such a lot of world to see.
We're after the same rainbow's end--
waiting 'round the bend,
my huckleberry friend,
Moon River and me.