The Best Man in My Life

Those who knew me well enough will know that I grew up without having a father.And if you have the heart to know me better you will know the reason why.

I am super lucky because I don’t need to fork out money to get gifts or buy dinner as I don’t celebrate Fathers Day. Every Father’s Day is just another day which existed in the Calender, and it’s also a special day for me to remember and write angry stuff about my ‘Deady’, Happy Deady Day ,Mr Tony suck my dog's balls.

But this year I will like to write from my heart and so I hereby dedicate this post to my Late Grandfather

He was …

The one who came to my rescue each time I misbehave and was about to get a hell of wacking from my grandma or my mum.

The one who bought me Doraemon comics 

The one came all the way to school on a hot sunny day even if it’s by bus just to send me my school books that I left at home

The one who taught me how to ride my bicycle,The one who cleaned my wound when I crashed my bike the next day

The one who would get up in the morning and make me his special Longan tea with egg and rock sugar for my birthdays…my 21st Birthday was the last time I had the taste of it…

The one who send me to school and sat next to me in the bus during the days when we dont own a car

The one who taught me every values and lessons which I need to know about life.

The one who will say ‘’Be good , you’re one year older , I wonder how many more years everyone can get to sit and eat together like now’’ , he said that every year during Reunion Dinner..

The one who drove the whole family on road trips during Chinese New Year, in fact he was the one who drove everyone everywhere..

The one would rather not eat and save all the good food for me

The one that I watch every Olympics, Commenwalth and badminton games with.
I was clueless most of the time, and he would explain to me about the players and the countries they represent. He did not make it to watch 2008’s Olympics and this year’s World Cup which was his favorite…

The one I hurt so badly when I grew up and turned into a rebellious monster

The one whose love I took for granted for all this years

The one who I scream and yell at when we had fights

The one who shed tears because of the hurtful things I’ve said when im angry…..

The one who I misses so much, the one who I cried thinking about before I close my eyes and sleep.

The one who suffers from pain alone because of the selfishness and ignorant of his family including me….

The one whom everyone said was a good man when they attended his funeral ….

The one and only Dad I had and need in my life…'Dta Jaa' ( dear grandpa in Thai )

Dear Ah Kong , there are many times when I got so angry I yelled at you and said I wish you’re not my grandfather, I wish I could take all that back now…I wish I could just tell you that I am sorry and I love you. There is not a single day I live where I don’t think about you. I miss you ..Happy Fathers Day ah kong.

 You are the Best Man in my life.

Not forgetting my Wondermum who has played the role of mum and also Dad for the past 24 years :) 

♫ Of the Moment :  The Beatles - In My Life

My Monster ♥

My little monster is here for the holidays, YAY ! I never really like children but she is exceptional even though she can be the worst pain in the ass sometimes. She’s a cartoon addict, she can watches all those lame cartoons over and over again. The other day I watched all this nonsense cartoons with her, there is this show about a boy who went to an animal school , then there is another show about Sushis who has super powers , I’m like what the F .

What ever happen to good old cartoons like The Little LuLu Show

Last night she watch me paint my finger nails with fascination, so I let her play with my pink nail polish, and she’s like superb excited about it. A child who fascinates over an adult’s world, she reminds me so much about myself when I’m at her age.

Kids wish to grow up and adults wish they were kids again, Isn’t it Ironic

When I was 10 , I used to love to play with my mum’s cosmetic , wear her high heels and imagine I am  walking on a runaway .What I love most is when play’ treasure hunt’ and digs out her jewelries box to play with her chandelier ear rings , faux pearls , chunky bracelets and necklaces . And in the end of the day, I will be in deep shit when I got caught.

My mum and late grandma has the craziest collection of clothes, I swear to God it’s in the family genes. When my grandpa died we had to move to a smaller house, my grandma donated almost a whole truck load of clothes to the Salvation Army, I am not making this up.

When I was 10, it took my mum forever to look at shoes and bags, I used to sulk while waiting impatiently for her to take me to the Toys department I remember asking her

 ‘’Mummy are you not bored buying so many pair of shoes and bags, and she said ‘’Wait till you’re older then you’ll know”

Now as I’m all grown up, she’ll be the one nagging‘’ How many pairs of shoes do you need when you only have 2 feet’’ lol

When I was 10, my grandma used to tie my hair in different styles, one day I was in a debate competition and she tied my hair up into two buns which made me look like Princess Leia from Stars Wars. And all the seniors came and pinch my chubby cheeks complimenting on how cute I look. Sometimes when she got fed up of me wanting her to style my hair, she’d sarcastically asked if I’m going to school or joining a beauty pageant ! God, I miss her so much..

As a child I think I pretty live in a world of my own, I day dream a lot and that’s  the only thing that has never changed in me.

As a kid , when I see my aunts , back then teenagers puts on their make up and wear trendy clothes , talked about their boyfriends and listen to cool music , I secretly wish to grow up as fast as I can So that one day I can be like them.

Now at 24 , I wish I could get up in the morning and live a day without painting my face I wish I could sing out loud in public , I wish I could laugh when I want , cry out loud when I want , scream when I want to without having to need a reason to do so. I wish I could believe in everything and know nothing. I wish that I could be angry with the world and forgotten all about it when I wake up in the morning. I wish I could be the simple minded girl who doesn’t need a reason to be happy. ♥

ps-she's not my daughter , she's my cousin . So please Don't be an idiot and make stupid assumptions

♫ Of the Moment :  MGMT- Kids

Inspiration of the Day - Mark Ryden

"I still remember the joy I got out of drawing, painting and building a world of my own when I was a child. I was free. I try to recapture that feeling I had making art as a child and to believe in magic, to play, to dream. Children see things and feel things that adults don’t.

As an adult, there are many barriers to being in this creative state of mind. I feel constantly challenged by these barriers. It is very difficult to let go of responsibilities and enter a creative fantasy land  It’s hard to stop looking at the clock and our bills. It’s hard not to drown in relationship problems and all the negative thoughts that deflate our motivation to create. If you can summon the strength to get past all these things and trust your heart, creativity can be miraculous. You can be transported to another existence.

There are two very different parts to the brain. There is the logical side and the creative side. To make art you have to stop thinking in a linear way. You have to bring to life the part of your brain that finds mystical wonder in life and nature. There is a part of your soul that can spend hours admiring the subtle colors and shapes in an old raccoon skull. You have to find the particular things that bring out your spirit. It may be to get up at the crack of dawn to explore the flea market in search of treasure. Perhaps light incense and listen to music that would embarrass you if anyone knew about, and wonder about alchemy, astrology and the secrets of the universe. It is the part of your spirit that still feels like a kid, and is awe-inspired and fascinated by the world.

My goal in art is to get past literal conscious thought and try to let my uninhibited subconscious mind make my art. I can feel it when this is working. I have heard many artists describe the same feeling. Some think it is the hand of God using them as an instrument of creation. Some describe it as the creative energizing force that permeates all nature creating through them. It is like being helped by some unknown mysterious force, Anima Mundi, the Spirit of the Universe.

You must trust your subconscious and the unknown sources it can tap into. There is so much for our minds to sort out. Millions of images and thoughts spinning around. If it were all there right the front of your conscious thinking your head would explode. My subconscious mysteriously sorts through this sea of thoughts and images and somehow synthesizes pieces from here and there and brings together paintings. They are the exclusive product of my unique mind. There is only one of each of us and our visions are the special product of our experiences and special unique thoughts.

I am drawn towards certain images and icons with a strong instinct. I feel I just have to paint certain things. I try not to question that. I can get just as much inspiration from a classical painting by Jacques-Louis David as a comic book cover by Daniel Clowes. I try to not judge one to be more legitimate than the other. The mystified gaze of a Keane girl can provide as much inspiration as the penetrating stare of a Rembrandt portrait.

I find it so much easier to be creatively free at night. Daytime is for sleeping. Nighttime is the best time for making art. The later at night it gets the further into another world you go. A few years ago while working very late one night, the distinct smell walnuts in the air broke my concentration. It was very quiet. A strange breeze gently blew through my studio. I suddenly became aware of something on my shoulder. Surprisingly, I was not startled to find a wee Abraham Lincoln sitting right there on my shoulder. We looked at each other for just a moment. Then he very softly whispered in my ear “paint meat.” -- Mark Ryden

Check out more of magical work here Mark Ryden

♫ Of the Moment : Marina and the Diamonds - Obsessions

Say Hello , Junie

Its JUNE ! so fast , tick tock tick tock .Well life is pretty much still the same , brand new job , with brand new pay and MORE spending.But, i read someone's tweet the other day which goes

'Retail Therapy- the more you spend the more things you get'

I think if a Genie could grant me a wish right now , i'd wish for a Super Big Built in closet to store all my clothes. Diet plan well goes downnn the drain . Im still fat and in denial lol so don't be fooled by my latest photos .

A big thanks to all my new followers, you guys make wanna write more good stuff. I don't think i'll write my emo stuff anymore well i hope i don't as i'm pretty sure nobody wants to read my never ending whining.Plus friends has begin to label my blog as an EMO blog .

Well girls , we wont be young forever , so dress to the nine , rock it and be fabulous ! The term over dress does not exist in my dictionary :)

Coco Chanel : 'There are no ugly women, only lazy ones. '

*wink*

XOXO , Jasmine

♫ Of the Moment : Tal Bachman- She's so high

Penny Lane Memorable Quote

''Never take it seriously, you never get hurt. Never get hurt, you can always have fun. And if you ever get lonely, you just go to the record store and visit all your friends''.

Penny Lane - Almost Famous

If Music is what Feeling Sounds like ♫ June 2010

The Album Leaf- Over the Pond

Pete Droge -Small time Blues
(totally so in love with song right now)

Owl-GoodBye Bye
( click to listen ,cause i don't think many heard about this band yet)

Right away ,Great Captain – What a pity

Empire of the Sun – Half Mast

Harlem - Friendly Ghost

Joni Mitchell – River
( my song to cry to )

Bright Eyes – Lovers I don’t have to love

Elton John – Tiny Dancer

Steve Earle – The Galway Girl

Laura Marling - Ghost

One Republic- Secrets

''Somewhere, someone knows the words to the songs you sing'' Via IWroteThisForYou