Crybaby

I spend the whole morning crying watching Yasmin's commercials adds in Youtube..Its pretty amazing how she conveys family values that people tend to overlook and forget tru her ads..I salute,respect and admire her works...

So here are a few that i really liked and I hope that Yasmin's works shall live on in our heart

Selamat Jalan Yasmin Ahmad

''Director Yasmin Ahmad, who provoked controversy with films that dealt with subjects like interracial relations and teenage angst in this conservative mostly Muslim country''

Yes she indeed tackle sensitive issues esp race and religion in her films..So some like it and obviously alot dont ! But why? is it because we find it hard to beleive that this is the fact? This is the real MALAYSIAN? I'm not a religious person , i know i don't have rights to judge ..but here is a Woman who dares to stand againts the whole world who's againts her ! Some people are just in denial..

In 2004, Malaysian female independent film director, Yasmin Ahmad, premiered her first feature
on the big screen, Sepet.It drew enormous attention, with both good and bad reactions from
across the country, and the film was an instant hit. It was a breath of fresh air for Malaysian
cinema, which is known for its emphasis primarily on entertainment. Sepet was filmed using a
very different filmic style from those to which Malaysians are accustomed, but it was the issues
that Ahmad addressed that drew strong reactions from the public and the media, and, eventually,a forum from the government. In fact, a forum on the film, which was organized by Ministry of Information and was aired on national television, labelled Ahmad a “corrupter of culture”.

WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE TO JUDGE????

Stop living in denial ..you people are just a bunch of hypocrites..!!

I'm really shocked and sad to hear that she has left us..Its such a lost ..Accept the fact that she's good ! In fact, she's so good it makes all others local movies looks like rubbish..

“She had a big heart and vision that we usually don’t understand. That was why people misunderstood her. But she never intended any malice,” said Fatimah. ( The Star Online )

Selamat Jalan Yasmin, you've touched our hearts with the movies you made from your heart

IF

IF , i were a few inches shorter then i will have a whole closet full of killer heels .. :(

IF , i were to realized that i'm gona lose both my grandparents , i would tell them everyday how much i love them

IF, God existed then i would punch him in the face and ask him to wake up and see what is going on with the World that he created

IF , money were no object , I would pack my bag and travel to Europe..

IF, money were no object , I'd provide shelter for all the homeless old folks that were abandoned by their children

IF, money were no object , I will buy a cottage in Ireland and spend the rest of my life waking up every morning to the view of a lavender field..

IF , i can play guitar..i would write a dozen of songs each time i think of you

IF, i have not gave and allow my heart to be broken..i would give it all to you

IF, i had a genie who could grant me a wish..I will wish for another 100 WISHES !

IF, one day i lose my mum or sisters..i think i will go mad and ends up taking my own life

IF, i didnt eat that much crap ..i would be walking on more runways and have my face appear on magazine covers

IF, i could control my temper and say less mean things that i dont mean..i would have not hurt those whom i love

IF, i dont ask so many IF...i would turn out to be a pretty happy dumbass

Shhh...

People thinks im being Emo when they see my blog..Its not emo..

Plus i dont write to entertain, like i've always said

This is just a place where i can just write shit that happens everyday..well, not everything..Because if i wrote down every single thing then it would probably be another boring online diary that everyone else is doing..

And this is almost like a safe sanctuary to express unsaid words and feelings that i hide oh so well from the world..

This is the place where i can be me..

the real me...

Super Trouper - Camera Obscura ( ABBA Cover)

Oh, I was sick and tired of everything

When you called me last night from Glasgow
All I do is eat, sleep and sing
Wishing every show was the last show
So I imagine I was glad to hear you coming
Suddenly I feel alright
And its going to be so different when I'm on the stage tonight

Super Trouper beams are gonna blind me
But I won't feel blue
Like I always do
Somewhere in the crowd there's you

Facing twenty thousand of your friends
How can anyone be so lonely
Part of the success that never ends
Still I'm thinking about you only
There are moments when I think I'm going crazy
But its gonna be alright
And everything will be so different when I'm on the stage tonight

Super Trouper lights are gonna find me
Shining like the sun
Smiling having fun
Feeling like a number one
Super trouper beams are gonna blind me
But I won't feel blue
Like I always do
Somewhere in the crowd there's you

So I'll be there when you arrive
The sight of you will prove to me I'm still alive
And when you take me in your arms
And hold me tight
I know its gonna mean so much tonight

Best Friends Forever ?

While on my way home after a long and tiring day in the office, i passed by a school ..and i guess it was after school hour so all the school kids are out waiting for transportation..and i notice a group of girls giggling while talking among themselves..the one and only thing that crossed my mind was Wendy And Jules..We were once that group of girls..

Its a common thing when there's a stage where everyone is moving on with their lives..New friends and boyfriends walks in and out of our lives..I've moved on...i stayed less in touch with them..They moved on and have their own new friends..Wendy is still with Kenneth ! ( it thinks its like almost forever , and they're an adorable couple ) Jules and Wendy still sees each other alot..But i'm hardly in the picture..Its not that i don't love them..I love them both..

Sometimes i felt like i'm not a part of the BFF's anymore...And its such a sad thing..I felt bad for missing out every outings and parties and gatherings..So i hardly get any calls or text from them anymore..and the last time i get to see them was during Chinese New Year which is like 5 months ago..

I envy my friends who still hangs out 24 7 with their besties..The other day while on the phone with Bond..( NOT JAMES BOND ) ..im like telling him that i feel like i dont have any girl friends anymore , and when i say girl friends i mean my BFFS..Then he's like ' Of course, you're like hanging out more with guys instead of girls'...Bonkers..

I love my guy friends as well but Come on, i cant go shopping with them and ask them 'Pink or Black ' bra looks nicer on me ? Right ? haha I cant ask sing along stupid love songs with them in the car and definetely i cant do the dirty talking about the guys i've dated with them..ITS DIFFERENT..and now i missed Jules and Wendy even more ..Sigh...

Broken Dreams

18th July 2009




I am so lucky that Weng Yew actually send me all the way from my house to JW Marriott Hotel in Bukit Bintang for my Qatar Open Day..I would probably die if i were to take public transportation..cause the thing starts at 9 am..He doesnt really know the way there so i am the 'GPS' haha and i guided him to a few wrong turns and we ended taking the extra long way to reach there..

But its okay. Well at least we made it there early..My hand is ice cold..i'm so freaking nervous..so i took a deep breathe and in i go..The moment i walked in the room i wish i could just turn my back and run away..FUCK ME..the girls there are like ' Real Life Barbie dolls '..so freakingly pretty and all of them dressed up like Audrey Hepburn..Elegant , prim and PROPER ! Everyone look so well prepared..They came in groups ..A lot of them are Thai 's who came down all the way from Bangkok to attend this Open Day..and most of them are really pretty

So i sat at the back row alone..texting Nicole..since she sent me an sms to wish me luck..Then the girl who was sitting two rows in front me turned and asked me whether i would sit with her..It was really nice and she's nice too..Her name is Cher Chyi..So as we were talking ..i happens to know that she's from Kelantan..haha i really enjoyed her company..At least i don't feel alone there when there's a friend =)

The clock ticks away..and more and more girls came in..My god..finally i see some DISASTER..there's one Malay girl who dressed up like she just walked out from the bar last night..then there's this fat bitch who thinks she 's so pretty..and she came with her MUM ! GOD..some people just dont grow up , dont they? A few look like they pick their outfit in the dark..Arghh they dont get whats the meaning of FORMALITY? Some are really cocky..and a few are totally freaky..I mean i know we need to smile all the time to give good impression..but there's this girl who smiles like a robot..and she smiles at everything and everyone..Its getting a little too much..Cause it makes her look FAKE ..i'm gona hurt my fucking jaw if i did the same thing

So there's 2 ladies from Qatar Recruitment team..a really super nice and whacky English and a quite serious no bullshit Bulgarian..They briefed us about life in Doha, benefits of being a Cabin Crew and ETC..Some girls laughed at things which are not really that funny..ITS FAKE FAKE FAKE....Then when briefing is over its time for us to submit our Resume and they will shortlist the candidates..

So we were split into two..my side was the English lady..So one by one the girls went and ..The lady was real nice..She talked and made small conversations with everyone..So it takes some time for everyone to finish..While on the other side The Bulgarian Lady was way too fast..She 's like asked one question and then NEXT... off it goes..

AND BLOODY HELL ..since its done on that side..I WAS NEXT to hand my resume in her counter..and the only thing she asked was' So what are you doing now ? ' i just replied and she asked' So you wana be a cabin crew' and i was lost for awhile..she's scary..i was suppose to say ' YES because i want to turn my passion for customer service into a profession' BUT instead i said' yea it's my dream' Then she just said OK THATS IT ! NEXT

They said they will call by 4pm if we were shortlisted..and when im done..it was only 11.30 am..So i walked around Bukit Bintang..and i saw this Pink bag in Vincci and its on 50% !!!! Rotten luck i dont have enough cash so i ask the sales assistant to keep it for me while i head to the ATM..and MUTHA of all fuckers..im not sure whether its my card or the stupid machine..I cant manage to get cash....

So feeeling fucked up i head and waits for the stupid bus to go home..and there is no bus ! and just imagine standing like a moron under the sun..I went home with A Cab..

Point of my story is NO THEY DID NOT CALL...I DID NOT GET THE STUPID JOB ! But in the end of the day the one good thing is the new friend i've made

I want to FLY

I realised that sometimes people around me can be real pain in the ass..I miss my friends back in Penang..Friends who are really there for me..I dont need friends who made comments that made me feel bad about myself..Honesty is a good thing , but why cant they just let me be me.I've always been true to myself..

My mind is pretty messed up..Qatar Airways is coming to Malaysia again..and its tomorrow in JW Mariott Hotel ..My heart is telling me to go for, but my mind is telling ' NO , dont go ! '

Its just not easy for me..I know i can do it..alot of people says i can do it , im blessed with communication skills..So to be in profession where customer service is everything is certainly not a problem to me..BUT i'm not the typical Asian girl who is small , petite and skinny..Im big , i hate to be this tall..People just dont understand what its like to be me..

I see myself as a small town girl who has never step out of my stupid country.Being a flight attendant is my only ticket to get the hell ot of here..Honestly im proud to be chinese but i hate the fact i hate typical chinese minded people..and i dont want to waste my life away in Malaysia..I mean Come on..like u dont know what's people like here..mulut macam sial esp those conversative 'aunties'

I dont want to be a kampung girl.I want to go to places that i've never been before , i want to experience new cultures and lifestyle..i wana meet new faces and most of all I NEED A CHANGE, i need a new life

I wana escape from my crappy job..i wish i could say ' IN YOUR FACE' to all those people who says i cant make it ! And im not gona lie..i wish mum could stop working, its time for me to give her a better life.

I dont belong here..im not sure what lies ahead for me..But its my dream..and with encouragement from really good friends..i'd think im gona go for it tomorrow..and if i dont make it tru..im gona go home and cry ( im serious ) ..I'll just try again next year..I''ve always beleive that ' Everything Happens for a Reason '

The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Yummy

First of all i'm freaking tired..and out of boredom..the one and only thing i can think of....

is Swedish MEAT BALLS...hot balls with brown gravy and lingonberry jam..with loadsa fries..

Im going nutz thinking about em..

So damn fucking good.........................just had em for lunch today ..and i'm craving for it again NEED MORE..GIVE ME MORE

Diet? whats that?

Fascinating New Thing

Went to bed giggling to myself and woke up this morning with a puffy left eye and also a big Big SMILE on my face.Its so cheesy, i know..SHHH.....Even though its like only 3 hours of sleep which normally makes me cranky in the morning..Well today its the complete opposite..

And while the whole world is watching Michael's Live Memorial or show or something like that on TV..I'm on the phone with the only one person that can piss me off so badly it makes me laugh..

He teased me and says i'm FAT ! He thinks my jokes aren't that funny..And he says IM DUMB ! in a very SARCASTIC typical ASSHOLE way..

He made so many rude remarks about everything that i wish i can just knock his brains out with a hammer..

Sometimes talking to him really makes me doubt that im STUPID ( which he already thinks i AM ) haha But as u know..EHEM Im just playing DUMB...

Yet despite all the argues and the crap talk..he always makes me laugh with his WhatSOever Charm or should i say LAMENESS ...and i like it :)

I've seen and known enough of typical guys comes up with really chessy lovey dovey shitstuff..Guys who lied , bragged and thinks they're cute when they're not ..I've seen it all and i dont find any of them fascinating..

So i must say that he is one interesting creature which i kinda like..not that like to jump on him and ask him to be my boyfriend thing..But Like in sense that..well i dont know what im saying now...Just plain like him for who he is..

And if you were guessing who he is..his name is...

OH well , i've deleted his name from this post..